As a kid I was convinced that I was going to be an actress, director and famous writer by the time I’d turn twenty four. I grew up in an area where the sky was the limit, an endless flow of financial abundance, fame, fortune and the indoctrination that with hard work and determination you could be and do whatever you wanted. The American Dream. By the time the twin towers hit I was ten years old. A few years later, when I graduated from high school the financial crash turned out to be the end of my debt-free life. I never considered myself a pessimist until I looked at the facts. In order for me to be and do what I thought I wanted when I was a kid equaled me being someone I was not.
By the time I hit almost hit my twenty four-year-old-mark and I turned out to be working at a very promising job as a radio producer it dawned on me. Was this really what I wanted? Yes I love to tell story’s, interview people, take their picture and document their lives. But do I really want to sacrifice my freedom in order for me to ‘make it’?
Whatever I thought I needed in order for me to be happy, to be validated, was actually making me very sad. It’s true what they say, that it’s lonely on top. My life was heading in a direction that was not nurturing my inner desires. Even though I was growing as a human being I felt a lack of spiritual maturity. It is when I moved to another city, away from my loved ones that I actually found out what really made me get excited to jump out of bed in the morning. It’s a life filled with a lot of yoga, coffee, friends that became sisters, food, good conversations and the ability to co-create and experience life as a unique soul in this infinite source of love. I am no better than my fellow earthlings. Everyday I make the effort to see behind my own illusions, inner-dialogue and patterns that stem from them.
I feel like we are living in a very interesting time, right now on the planet. Turning twenty six thought me a very valuable lesson. Say how you feel, not what you think. Feelings matter. The abundance I experience now resemblance the nineties, my childhood in a way. Less materialistic this time around and a lot more focus on transparency, truth and the highest law of them all; love.